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Tuesday, October 28, 2008


Send WORLDVENTS your favorite insider Vent joke. That’s a joke that can only happen between a vent and figure. .
For example FIGURE: You need to treat me with more respect. After all good ventriloquial assistance don’t grow on trees . . . (TO AUDIENCE) I wish I hadn’t said that. (From Robert Orben) --or--VENT: You happen to be talking to an expert ventriloquist.
FIGURE: You happen to be talking to yourself. (From Bergen)Well, there’s two.
What’s your favorite So far the following examples have been shared:

From Bill DeMar:Chuck: I'll do Charlie McCarthy, and you do Edgar Bergen.
Me: O.K., I'll try.Chuck: Don't forget to move your lips. --and--Me: I asked you a question. You're not saying anything.Chuck: You forgot my line.

From Neale Bacon:Horton: You are a really great ventriloquist!
Me: I wish you wouldn't say that
Horton: I wish you wouldn't make me.

From N J Holtzman:
NJ: Hey, Jellybeans I think your are the smartest dummy around.
Jelly Bean Joey: Awww you shouldn't have to say that, but I like it, I like it.
NJ: Well can't you say somthing nice about me?
JBJ: Sure I can, I think Your the dumbest smarty around.
JBJ: Are you gonna vote in the election?
NJ: Sure, I already Made my mind up.
JBJ: Wonderful... untried territory.

From Tom Crowl:Vent: I'm trying to figure out where your accent comes from
Figure: Your throat.

Al Stevens shared a whole page:

From Buddy Big Mountain:
Figger's eyes follow someone walking across the front of the stage.
Figger - WOW! Did you see that?
Vent - No
Figger - Then how did I?
Figger is singing a Winabago song and starts choking
Figger - Don't you ever start choking while I'm singing again!
Vent - Sorry.

From Thomas Rogers via J. Nelson:
Figure: (Coughs a couple of times and looks a Vent) Would you please clear your throat?
Vent: (Clears throat). How's that?
Figure: (As if "tuning") Me-me-me-me. Much better. Thanks.

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