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Monday, June 29, 2009


In June of 2009 we had lost 5 personalities
David Caradine-Ed McMahaon-Farrah Fawcett-Majors-Micheal Jackson and most recently Gale Storm. It just seems that the last half of the 20th century was represented...
a small note on each and everyone of these personalities will follow... to be filled in as time allows
3 sets of 3 for those who believe this kind of stuff occurs in 3's

David Caradine Movie/TV Star/ Kung Fu Artist


Farrah Fawcett-Majors

Michael Jackson

Gale Storm

Fred Travelina

Billy May

Karl Maulden

William "Bill' Stranton Hume

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Big black bugs bleed black blood.

I am not a pheasant pluckerI'm a pheasant plucker's son
And I'll be plucking pheasants'Til the pheasant plucking's done.

Mary Mack's mither's makin' Mary Mack marry me
My mither's makin' me marry Mary Mack
When I marry Mary Mack, Mary will tak' care of me
We'll a' be makin' merry when I marry Mary Mack

Glory, Glory, how peculiar,
Glory, Glory, how peculiar
Glory, Glory, how peculiar
One sick sheik's sixth sheep was sick,
And the other sick sheik's was not;

One drunk duck dropped into the ditch,
and the other drunk duck dropped dead
One drunk duck dropped into the ditch,
and the other drunk duck dropped dead
One drunk duck dropped into the ditch,
and the other drunk duck dropped dead
One drunk duck dropped into the ditch,
and the other drunk duck dropped dead


A certain young fellow named Beebee
Wished to marry a lady named Phoebe
But he said I must see what the minister's fee be
Before Phoebe be Phoebe Beebee

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck,
if a woodchuck could chuck wood."
As much wood as a woodchuck would chuck,
if a woodchuck would chuck wood.

A flea and a fly were caught in a flaw in a flue.
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
And they flew through the flaw in the flue.


Go slow with this at first once you feel confortable with it then using your vent voice and you can still move your lips try this again...your feeling good with this...then its time for still lips, vent voice and both breath streams where needed.. become a Dr Seuss and repeat the following

If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer.....
Here's an easy game to play.Here's an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this? But I say you can, What a shame, sir! I see no shame in it, practice... We'll find you another game, sir. And here it is....

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the micro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!


One hen
Two ducks
Three squawking geese
Four Limerick oysters
Five corpulent porpoises
Six pairs of Don Alverzo's tweezers
Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array
Eight brass monkeys from the ancient, sacred crypts of Egypt
Nine apathetic, sympathetic, diabetic old men on roller skates who all have a marked propensity towards procrastination and sloth
Ten lyrical, spherical, diabolical denizens of the deep who haul stall around the corner of the quo of the quay of the quivery, all at the same time.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? ' 'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.' 'What that tell you?' asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?' 'You not to smart, you need be Lone, stranger. It means someone stole the tent.Ring bell Ranger out to lunch.

Monday, June 22, 2009


Most of the time when your new character arrives, just like a new baby, it comes naked. Its your job to go out and get that figure some new clothes. Personality and character that you want come from the clothes you put on them. Your figure can have many different changes of clothes, this way your scope is much wider. Give your character a prime wear and then from there make the changes. Maybe your going hunting, or to a formal diner, maybe he's going on a cruise. What ever the situation dress them for it.
How a character dresses depends on who or what the character is. He could be a sports minded fan who likes a particular team, or maybe just likes jeans, sneakers,long sleeve tee shirt, remember that the legs and arms aren't real so no shorts or short sleeves, and a baseball cap.
How Should Fred Dress? He should be wearing a turtle neck shirt or a closed collar shirt due to his not having real skin. Maybe your performing for a diner, a picnic, a corporate affair, a birthday party... its always nice to try to dress them a set above your audience. A good habit is to both dress the extra niche above your audience. What might be a great idea is to have several bodies for quick changes of outfits during a performance. So all you need do is just switch heads.
You will see on many occasions both the ventriloquist and the figure dressing alike, the audience likes this. Always look to accessorize the outfit with glasses, a top hat, medals, belts, suspenders, socks and shoes, sneakers. OK where do I go to find these clothes you might ask, well I have a few Ideas for you, use them or come up with a few of your own...You know some people with small children who have out grown their clothes, ask them for it. Usual size is a 4T which means a toddler who is 4 years old, if you are handy with a needle and thread or a sewing machine then you might want to try thrifts shops, garage sales, yard sales, flea markets, salvation army are all great places for used clothes for a nominal fee. Remember to look in these stores for formal wear or dress up clothes. Sometimes parents buy a dress up suit for that special occasion and the child out grows it, its another chance for a purchase. Want to dress your figure in a special costume, the day after the holiday is the right time to go and see how much you might save. Whether it be Halloween, Christmas, Easter, or what ever holiday. Just remember that when you buy these outfits they will have to be altered by cutting the slit in the back for your hand as well as a slit in the waste for the seating position of your character. If the figure is wearing more then one layer of upper clothes make sure that the inner layer has a bigger slit and make sure that when cutting to hem the cut. One thing that I almost neglected to tell you, be sure that you don't make the clothes attached to the figure unless that's all they are going to wear, otherwise its difficult to change them. You can use Velcro strips to keep the shirt and or pants in place should you so desire. You might need some alterations on the jackets and pants... So if you have other ideas to share with the readers please enter them and I will place your name along side the byline. Thanks for your input..

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Busking better known as street performers has been around for many centuries in the form of bards, wardering minstrels town criers they were the precursor to the days of vaudeville, burlesque, but buskers continued where the later forms of entertainment ended. So we can say buskers encircled them. They literally had to sing for their supper. The Busker was found in every corner of the globe performing for tips and other gratuities. Busking has a long and lustrous history but not as long as the other forms of entertainment.
The dictionary meaning for busker was first entered in the 1860s, Spanish buskar 'to seek or to wander' and given to the wandering minstrels of the middle ages. During this time the merchants invited the buskers to stand in front of their stores and entertain to attract the crowds., plazas and public squares to attract the passers by to help in their business traffic. These entertainers were paid for their talent. Before the Renaissance in France the name troubadours was given to these street talents, in Germany they were known as minnesingers or spielleute,Italy buscare which means to obtain or get through special means, In Europe and English speaking countries from 15-1600 to the 1900s the name minstrelsy was coined and given to these entertainers.
The Early Days
In early Rome buskers who sang songs and told stories against the government were, either fined or imprisoned and worse sentenced to death. Before this law was passed the street performer were entitled to the same rights as the rest of the people. In England the law was that these buskers needed to be licenced, if not they would be whipped for two consecutive days. In the late 1800s the laws in England permitted the people to harass the buskers and that still goes on to this very day.
Today, busking is seen almost in every corner of the world. This is how the art of music, art, and advertising has been broadened by the buskers. Japan has their own form of buskering, as well as Mexico(Mariachi) who travel the streets, restaurants and bars for gratuities. The USA had their own form of buskers in the guise of medicine shows used entertainers to attract the crowds. Then passed the hat, the art of passing the hat still exists today. While circus performer were idle they would rework their acts to fit the situation and the hat got passed again. Finally busking hit the folk music genre, who went from bar to bar, restaurant to restaurant as well as cafe to cafe. Two of the buskers who come to mind are Woody Gunthie and Joan Baez.

Present-day busker festivals would gather together in public squares performing for free then passing the hat. The Be-ins at the Golden Gate Park, San Jose's Bee Stadium and San Francisco Bay all had or were buskers....Janis Joplin,Big Brother and the holding co.,Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane,Jimi Hendrix , etc. Free love, Drugs gave busking a bad image.
Modern technology has made life for the busker much easier. They can book their own talent on the Internet, as well as promote themselves. The buskers are using the Internet for their talent and getting paid via some form of electronic payment. So Busking has not gone away its still here look on your Internet. Got something to share we would be glad to add it to this message...

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Some of you would like to see your favorite ventriloquist as the one selected by you the fan 'selected ventriloquist' for 2009, but some of you entered a vote and never said who the vote was for....please post the vents name.


Anyone with any ideas regarding kids illusions and entertainment, be it magic, puppetry, ventriloquism, clowning, juggling, you name it and we will discuss it here got something to say, got a question to ask, feel free, you ask the question if I don't have the answer maybe one of the readers can assist you..Remember its all for the fun of the kids.

How about some experiences you might want to share, a show you might have done that you want to share due to something special that may have occurred. Our readers want to hear about it and they also might have some answers to questions you might have about it. Lets share ...its all for the kids


Hi all its been a while since I posted something here been a little busy but have not forgotten any of you... Please send your questions to me and I will find time to answer each of them as time allows...pertaining to ventriloquism, magic, juggling and clowning....I will also be adding new for them...

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Bob Rivers Interviews Tom Ladshaw and Thelonius

I just finished listening as well as watching a wonderful radio interview on the Bob Rivers radio show with The star of a new movie, starring Tom Ladshaw and Bryan W. Simon who produced the documentary about ventriloquism entitled “I’m No Dummy". The Movie (film) had its release at the Seattle International Film Festival (SIFF), and they liked it so much that they gave the film an additional day release. Tom had with him his Vent figure Thelonius who stole the interview, finally quieting down to give Tom some speaking time. There are Major distributors in the wings, who would like to bid on releasing the film, " I'm No Dummy" The crowds who came to see the film were long and the future of the film looks promising. The cinemas that showed the movie were the SIFF as well as the Pacific Palace Theater. All I say is when this movie comes your way, be sure to make it a must see. Following the movie there was a Q&A held by Jay Johnson and Bob, Lynn Trefger and Chloe as well as Tom Ladshaw and Thelonius. Everything went better then expected and a standing O was given, by the excited crowd. If you want to watch the interview go to and type into the search I'm No Dummy click #1 and after viewing the first half click #2 its an enjoyable interview.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Hi everyone we just got back from our cruise to the Caribbean, it is so wonderful this time of the year. There were some delays though, the ship in front of ours got out of the port just in time, before they closed it due to inclement weather, we were held up for about 11/2 hours but got to Nassau on time, amazing how fast it can travel if it had to...The entertainment aboard wasn't up to par, but we enjoyed everything else. Restaurants food and staff were first rate, the poolside parties were great lots of dancing and music I even had some quiet time, which I strongly needed. When we got off for our excursions in Nassau Bahamas we saw the city, if you haven't been to Nassau you must see Atlantis Hotel with its Gambling casino, Aquarium which surrounds the Restaurant and underground, carrying every type of fish you can possibly imagine. I am not a travel agent, so google it to get more information. We saw the city of Nassau on a second excursion and we went to Adastra Zoo, once the pictures are developed I will be glad to share them. The second full day brought us to Stirrup Cay, which to me was the hit of the cruise, it was a Tropical Island owned by the cruise line, we took a tanner to the island and spent a good portion of the day in the water, which was beautiful aqua green water, wish I could have bottled it and brought it home. The water was so clear i stood up in it and saw the fish swimming around my toes, wow!!! The third day was what I needed a day at sea, a day of rest and practice, some time in the casino, shopping in the galleria, eating the fresh island foods and fruits. Well that's enough I just talked your eyes closed, sorry.


I have the worst fear any performer could have, that of remembering my lines, what can I do? Connie Cary NC
I am under the impression this must be your first show, and if it is you must keep it short in length, use cue cards or index cards to help you with those key words that will help you continue with your show, most important is top have fun, don't need forgotten lines to give you fear, your job is to give joy and get joy from your audience. As you progress in experience your shows will get longer your memory will improve, I hope. Keep those cards hidden from your audience, but it is not necessary, most speakers use notes. So don't be afraid to use them also. Many of the great speakers use cards to help them get through their speeches. So don't put everything to memory, especially the first time your out there.


Hi NJ n Jelly Bean-I want to learn to do an accent for my doll, how do I do that? Rich P Boca Raton FL
There are many ways you can solve this dilemma, one is to know someone with that accent you are trying to learn, actually they would be your best source. They can teach you where to place the stress on the words. Another is to go to your local library and get an audio tape that teaches accents. There is still another way and that is to browse the Internet for accent information, they will also teach you where to place the emphasis, now once you have that you then have to convert the accent to vent speech and still retain the accent. Good luck.


Not using a microphone can I still do a show, how close should you be to your audience? Joe C. Bellmore NY

You are a performer and your voice must be projected to reach the last person in the audience. In the back of the room or whatever. So, the more loudly you speak, the larger the audience you can effectively entertain without a PA system, and the greater the separation between you and the closest members of the audience. The acustics within the room has alot to do with this, too, of course, but the general rule is the same. With a PA system (very valuable to the ventriloquist) you can "spread" the room. Without, you need to "shrink" the room.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


A Respond to his friend Stinkey on their TV show Lou Costello on the Abbott and Costello Show in the 50s, after Stinkey pinched him, he would hit him with his hat and say " OOOOHH!!! DON'T HARM ME...
I remember The A&C Show on TV and grew up with them through the pleasures of that media. A little history for you: The routine 'Who's on First' was moderated from a 1880s burlesque routine, Wheeler and Woolsey had done 'The Baker's Scene' The shop was located on Watt Street, the owners name was Who Dyed, known as Who, as you can see this was easily turned into WHO WHAT AND I DON'T KNOW, but not quite yet...Another comedian from the english comedy stage was Will Hay performed a routine in the 1930s "The School Teacher" who interviewed a student named Howe, who came from Ware, but moved to Wye... In the 1930s baseball routines were the hit of the comedy stage, along came A&C 1937 and Who's on First became a bit for them to perfect as they had and the rest is comedy history.

A&C have been among the top comedy teams of all times since they have written the first list of comedy team lists. In my opinion they are the best, better then Martin and Lewis, right up there with Laurel and Hardy's talkies. The Marx and Ritz Brothers, The Smothers Brothers, Wayne and Shuster, but how many people can remember the routines of those other teams, I don't think many people are able to but should they it might be one or two jokes or a routine, but as soon as a routine of the great A&C is done most people old enough to remember them, knows it was theirs, amazing isn't it? To mention just a few here 'Flugle Street' or 'Slowly I Turn', Who's On First' 'The Tie Salesman' 'Stinker.' I am not saying that those other great teams weren't just that, but try and remember complete routines or some dialogue, amazing yet they aren't considered the best, well I don't agree...THEY WERE THE BEST....One man's opinion.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


Well were taking a 3 day tour just like Gilligans 3 hour tour to a tropical Island, Hopefully this tour will only last 3 days and not turn into 6 years... More when we get back with some pictures. Don't miss me. Hahaha!!!


The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known! Have fun! Look forward to hearing from you shortly
1 What time did you get up this morning? 5:00
2.Diamonds or pearls? why choose
3.What was the last movie u saw? milk
4 What is your favourite TV show? Too many tp decide
5.What do you usually have for breakfast? shreaded wheat cereal skim milk 1/3 banana and 3 ozs juice with vitamin
6.What is your middle name? Jay
7.What food do you dislike? anything still living
8 What is your favourite CD at moment? anything pertaining to ventriloquism
9 What kind of car do you drive? Ford Taurus
10.Favourite sandwich Roast Beef/Turkey/swiss cheese/lettuce and tomato mayo and mustard on hoagy
11.What characteristic do you despise? uncommunicative....dishonesty
12.Favourite item of clothing? the less the better
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Amsterdam
14.Favourite brand of clothing? not into labels
15. Where would you retire to? wherever they will take me
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? scratches head and says I remember it,I think, it was some time ago
17.Favorite sport to watch? Any competitive sport
18.Furthest place you are sending this? anywhere it arrives around the world
19.Person you expect to send it back first? Anyone who wants to, always welcome new friends.
20.When is your birthday? July 5th
21.Are you a morning person or a night person? Depends on what the next day presents
22.What is your shoe size? 8 1/2
26.Pets? Boo Hoo Hoo none at this time
24.Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? Off on my cruise, going to Kentucky in September and going to NY in September for a bar Mitzvah and childrens party
25. What did you want to be when you were little? Bigger
26. How are you today? clapping my hands 'if your happy and I know it'
27.What is your favorite sweet? Do I need to make a selection, my downfall is sweets.
28.What is your favorite flower? whatever is bought for me 'Send me those Roses, Tulips and Orchards and I'll open my heart to you
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? any preferrably that has a day at the end of it.
30. What is your full name? Norman Jay Holtz
31.What are you listening to right now? nothing at this very moment...!!
32.What was the last thing you ate? fresh liver with some fava beens and a nice chianti
33.Do you wish on stars? Yes Terry Fator, Jeff Dunham, Ronn Lucas...
34.If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Bright canary yellow like the sun/but then there are times when it could be navy blue like my dark mood
35.How is the weather right now? Cool and clear like fresca on a panty shield
36.The first person you spoke to on the phone today? A vent friend of mine
37. Favourite soft drink? try not to drink too much but when I do its Black Cherry or Pepsi
38.Favourite restaurant? any fine surf and turf rest
39.Real hair colour? Chestnut brown/almost black
40.What was your favourite toy as a child? too many I just don't remember a favorite
41.Summer or winter? spring and fall
42 Hugs or kisses? deep kisses
43.Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla chocolate
44.Coffee or tea? Tea
45. Do you want your friends to email you back? Sure! I always love to hear from friends
46.When was the last time you cried? What time is it????
47.What is under your bed? Pictures and audio tapes/dust bunnies
48. What did you do last night? watches some tv
49.What are you afraid of? heights.......dying(especially on stage)
50.Salty or sweet? sweet
51.How many keys on your key ring? 10-15 depends on where I have been or where I am going
52.How many years at your current job? 5
53. Favourite day of the week? anyone of them that has the word day in it.
54.How many towns have you lived in? phew!!!!15-? This is one of the longest
55.Do you make friends easily? yes would you like to be one of them?
56 How many people will you send this to? lots I hope
57.How many will respond? I Don't Know Lots I hope